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Feb
18

No Evil Oil

Last night I couldn’t sleep. Gatlin was listening to music in the other room and I settled onto the couch to watch infomercials as it was almost 1am. There was Ronco trying to sell me a slicer/dicer (it also does windows!), there was a machine that would give magicoilpreacher.jpgme rock hard abs and incredible boobs and a larger penis for only 6 minutes a day. and then I came across the Rev. Danny “Business in the front, party in the back” Davis. And he wanted to give me a special vial of magic anointed oil that would keep evil out of my house. It even had an original name: “No Evil Oil”. Someone must have been writing during the strike.

According to his program, the Magic miracle oil would “Break Witchcraft Spirits” (have you met a witch with a broken spirit? they are DOWNERS! don’t invite them to your party)

“Rebuke the Poverty Devil” (He needs to be rebuked, he’s been sleeping on my couch for a month now. I feel bad because he got dumped and fired on the same day. But i mean he’s a Devil…such a dilemma)

“Anoint for Protection” (apparently if you anoint yourself with this magic miracle oil, you’ll be invincible!)

But wait, you ask, what makes the oil so special?
Well, somebody prayed over it for 17 days. No, i’m serious.noeviloil.jpg

Though, to his credit, he doesn’t ask you upfront for money for the oil, it’s free. But you are encouraged to give money in order to help him maintain his fierce mullet look.

I lament the fact that there is no “Better Business Bureau” for preachers. They can lie, cheat, and trick people all they want, and we call it religious freedom. I mean, hell, if scientologists can sell you “programs” in order to rid you of alien bits infesting your body, then this guy can push some bullshit red canola oil to bring you money, keep depressed witches from coming to your party, and get that lazy ass poverty devil from smoking all your weed and eating your cheetos. (Yes, but can it slice, dice and do windows?)

When people ask me if i believe there is a God, I tell them this: “Of course there is a God! and may he strike me dead if I’m wrong.”

  • http://www.queervoice.net/zcbyrnes/?p=951 God is a giant vending machine

    [...] also: No Evil Oil Cool Video, News/Opinion, Religious [...]

  • valerygoodman

    i saw your tv programme on sky and said i want a bottle of your no evil oil

    Please send me a bottle of the no evil oil

    Thank you

  • valerygoodman

    i saw your tv programme on sky and said i want a bottle of your no evil oil

    Please send me a bottle of the no evil oil

    Thank you

  • melvintayliam

    i wake up early in the morning could not sleep becacue of finicial problem cant pay worker an there God sent you on the tv telling me u can help with the God sent clothe and oil so please send me the no evil oil and the God sent clothe my heart is with God

  • porter

    “Of course there is a God! and may he strike me dead if I’m wrong.” If he's wrong, their will be no God to strike him down. How do people not see this as the scam it is.

  • john

    please pray for me closer walk with god send me no evil oil pobox 894 scott la 70583

  • warren

    no

  • mathew

    when you try to get noevil oil you get this wierd sitetake guest off of it

  • http://www.queervoice.net/zcbyrnes ZCByrnes

    that's because this is a post on a blog mocking “no evil oil”. dont ask me for any oil, I try not to scam stupid people.

  • smarterthanhethinks

    This guy is a complete nut-case. He prays on the down-and-out half-witts who believe his lies. I happen to see one while channel surfing one morning (I was intrigued by his strange mullet haircut) where he claims someone who just went through foreclosure was able to buy a new home by spreading that, so called, “no evil oil” on the loan documents for the new home loan. Well, praise God, she was APPROVED and to top it off, she received a check (from an unknown source, even to her) for $2500 the same day! What a miracle! And a bunch of bullsh*t!

  • CEDUP

    Just see this guy this morning, I'm tempted, the oil just sounds so REAL! This is the 21st century, wizards, demons and witchcraft, never went away. Damn, are people still this stupid!? Religion, greatest business ever! Tax free, and no regulations. Checkout the catholic gangs, man, now that's a great scam.

  • beverlyabbown

    the devil has been chasing me for a long time trying to destroy my family and me there one of the greatest calling on my life since Moses,Easter, and Joseph ,and Daniel, THE ENEMY WOULD TRY TO DEFEAT ME I'VE BEEN TOLD OVER AND OVER AGAIN.MIKE Murddock is my mentor.

  • David Callender

    Hello Pastor I would like a bottle of NO EVIL OIL,I'M NOT WORKING AT PRESENT,I'VE BEEN OUT OF WORK FOR THE LAST 8MONTHS,I WANT A NEW JOB,SO I CAN BE A HELP TO THE KINGDOM OF GOD.David Callender,372 Island Street,Stoughton Mass 02072

  • Cengeb

    Are the ingredients listed? Does the FDA know this is being shipped? Is the oil considered a dangerous product, and shipping improperly should get him fined. What would Jesus do? Use UPS or Fedex? Or regular mail. Does it come on a jackass in a straw basket? Does it say Castrol?

  • Cdshuba

    did you hear the fake clapping or the 3 actors he has in his audience or the b.s. medical terms he uses? if one person sends this douche money i am going to curl up and cry…

  • Mary mccullen

    please send me a couple of bottles… my email: mmccullen@nyc.rr.com

  • joann91

    I am intrested of geting the the bottle of oil

  • joann91

    I saw your program today and it was nice:)

  • Hoax

    you have to believe or it will not cure your lumbago or limp noodle!

  • Barbaraw addell-Steele

    My thing is you have to know the whole truth about witchcraft and how it comes into your life before you can be delivered. If you have sin in your life, no oil in the world will deliver you. Witchcraft and many other spirits come into a person's life because of darkness a season where he/she is separated from and not in the will of God. Also, it could be a pronounement of evil against a person. You have to know the name of the demon, it's origin and its authority, then you can take full authority against it in Jesus name.

  • Richard ParkerDojo3254

    My name is Richard Parker, and I want to know how can I get a bottle of no evil oil.

  • john day

    give me a break. wizards? witchcraft? are you on his payroll to. this is the biggest pile of horse shit ive ever seen. are they that many fools in the usa. im debt free. its called bankruptcy. not some colored water in a bottle.after watching this jackass and seeing what these other fools have written then what ive heard is true. CRACK WILL DESTROY YOUR MIND all these crack heads need to put the pipe down

  • Peaches40

    I uesed it once it worked to drive the evil doer away from my house. I glad it worked for the good of my familly! Thank you so much for the the support!

  • peaches J.

    I w ould want to testify that it worked for me ! I am telling you it really work for me that i can say!Because I had so many attacks dealing with the deveils angels it was the crazy wacky stuff going on.But i used the oil to fight the devils and prayer and go my victory,amen to god!I just want to Thank the man for the oil! would like some more!

  • Davidastanleydr

    I am truely fascinated at the tactics these “preachers” use to get money out of your pocket. As if Jesus, God, handed out “Red oil” or little multi colored “prayer cloths”…that you JUST HAVE TO HAVE in order to get a blessing. It's BS. It's making one giuy rich. I find it MORE fascinating the thousands of needy people that buy in to these schemes. I feel sorry for them…and am sickened by the perpetrators. And BS it's free. all you need is for that person to call….and then you get them to open thier wallets. It's sick. And there's a ton of these “preacher” on tv from him to Robert Tilton. (Check out “Farting Preacher”. It's hilarious). Well….at the end of it all….I want to be in heaven if only to watch these idiots be judged for thier crap. But hey…here's what Robert Tilton said when nailed by 60 minutes for his rip offs. He said “I don't profess to be a Christian. I am a businessman. While all my friends were getting masters degrees in college to become lawyer etc, I thought “I am going to be a tele-evangilist…and get rich asking people to give “to God…me)…because Christians are the most gullible people in the world”. He was right. And going to hell.

  • http://www.thebearlebrity.com Zach

    you’re an idiot.

  • http://twitter.com/latesma latesma

    I am watching your program today and there are tenants that reside in my apartment building that I believe are drug dealers and have tampered with my mail and car. I need protection for me and my family.

  • http://twitter.com/latesma latesma

    There are tenants in my apartment building who have tampered with my mail and broken into my car. My family and I need protection.

  • http://profiles.google.com/beggwill7 Will Begg

    It really does work. I was having marital problems and 2 days after annointing myself, my wife died in a car crash. Thank you “no evil oil”.

  • Anonymous

    hi pastor good day i would like a bottle of the no evil oil…I WANT A NEW JOB, i want to be able to pay bills and stop suffering… please and thank you. name:kelesha mcneil address-naggo head, bridgeport p.o stcatherine. god bless you

  • Anonymous

    my commentsis i never had the oil on me at all and i have this back pain all the times

  • Anonymous

    As a visitor to the US I was impressed with the dimension of spiritual discernment and revelation from Psalm 5 verse 12.
    Pastor Danny Davis please add me to your prayer list for divine favour and breakthrough.

    Guest from Zambia

  • Anonymous

    This red oil is something funny. Watching this guy on TV at 4:00a.m. I’m laughing
    my ass off the couch. They should put this sh.t on the Comedy channel.

  • Anonymous

    Is this oil available in 5W 40W Synthetic for my new car?  Or is this the old stuff, from Babylon days?  Only good to lube donkey cart wheels? 

  • http://twitter.com/Dbreakudown Brent Breakspear

    you are a retarded FUCK

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DY4OZKO7QGCZCBMUTABMJKVVJU Lonny Robinson

    LOL this No Evil Oil dude is seriously gonna BURN in hell, if he doesnt go to hell for selling that fake shit ill be glad to call myself an atheist.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DY4OZKO7QGCZCBMUTABMJKVVJU Lonny Robinson

    Well said Brent, i guess idiots need a guide for the REAL world.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DY4OZKO7QGCZCBMUTABMJKVVJU Lonny Robinson

    Ill believe it when i see it, and so far… it hasn’t happened. theories and old artifacts isn’t enough for me to believe, could be all made up for all we know. But as for me, i believe religion was developed overtime to scare people and keep order, we all believe different things. Stop trying to convert others, i’m here to badmouth the mullet freak selling his so called No Evil Oil in his cheesy commercial, seriously thou all of you open your eyes, if you don’t your lost forever and will cower to your fake gods.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Orkaney Even Lorentz Bergh

    Is this oil prayed for 24/7 or was it a 9 to 5 job, monday to friday, with weekends off?  This is important because, if above mentioned prayer is taken lightly, the blessings of prayer will wear off before it’s fixated by our Lord and Saviour, deeming the oil useless to anything but making stains in white carpets.  

  • http://twitter.com/Shoon4774 Nashoune LittleOwl

    Yeah, I saw this two bit charlatan on the tube. The hair is definitely a hoot. Have you noticed the cheapness of his suits? I don’t think he has a big enough following that buys into enough of his crap yet. Yet. Boy, isn’t that the operative word here? Yet. You know there are people who will continue to buy into his bull. He peddles his ‘No Evil Oil’ as he says ridiculous crap like “Look into my eyes…the bible says the eyes are the windows of the soul. Look into my eyes and know I want to help you. This oil makes the devil really nervous. If you have arthritis rub the oil on your hands…put it where you are hurting…” He even tells people to take the oil and make the sign of the cross on their wall or their checkbook or their front door or the numbers of their address. Hah!

  • http://twitter.com/Shoon4774 Nashoune LittleOwl

    Holy crap that is freaking funny!

  • http://twitter.com/Shoon4774 Nashoune LittleOwl

    ;) Do you really think Jesus said anything in the bible? The bible was written by regular people who claimed that the words were said by Jesus or who claimed that they were God inspired.  Load of poop.  Typical religious individual who believes they have the ONLY answer to anything in the universe. There are lots of things to believe in. Some are good. Some are bad. The point is there IS more than one thing to believe in that is good. Christianity/Religion does not have a monopoly on the goodness in the world and the universe. Read my blog The Greatest Lie Ever Told.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_22SPDIVLYZRTIA5YT45LJ4OX64 Charlie

    see you on 12-21-12. peace

  • Anonymous

    aman bro

  • Anonymous

    How many fingers do you see?    Nope only 4 Jesus didn’t save my other finger. It’s an illusion.  Send money NOW.  Amen.  Is it Crisco or Puritan veggie oil?  I am trying to keep my fat content down.  Amen, send money, Jesus would have wanted you to.

  • Anonymous

    i had about your programme from a friend in the U S and i want a bottle of your no evil oil

    Please send me a bottle of the no evil oil

    Thank you

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/IDVFBSPAYIL4F5VKCANVNV73DA Tamara

    I hope you don’t burn in hell for judging something you know nothing about. You are problably Athiest…Don’t knock something that may very well help others, physical, emotional.ect…They may just need something to believe in !!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/IDVFBSPAYIL4F5VKCANVNV73DA Tamara

    get of the drugs and on your knees Idiot !!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/IDVFBSPAYIL4F5VKCANVNV73DA Tamara

    I will PRAY for you !!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carl-Engeb/100002384637702 Carl Engeb

     God is not for the unemployed!  He wants your cash.  If GOD is watching, maybe he doesn’t like you, cus you are unemployed.  He might be a republican?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carl-Engeb/100002384637702 Carl Engeb

     Did you not read me right?  I said, are people really this stupid?  The boogieman is gonna help ya.  Just send him enough money.   I prefer used cooking oil, after making some Fried chicken!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carl-Engeb/100002384637702 Carl Engeb

     Put the oil all around your mailbox, so the next time they try to steal something, they will slip and fall, then bang their head, probably make em see god.  Or better yet, move!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7FMBSKSJ66BXSD2B7Z4PLR7Z3I ben

    I am interested in what you had to say.

  • Anonymous

    i watch you on the tv this morning and you said all year your life has been bad all year so i think you was speaking to me marriage has gone bad we has no luck with money to pay bills i lost 2 cars my husband car is on 1 leg i drive it threw the week he drive to work on the weekends and my health is going bad also my children ca’nt live with me im not with that they need me and loss more i need this devil to get out and stay out i want all of us to drink this oil runn devil runn 

  • http://www.facebook.com/fpcharnock Forrest Charnock

     You need the noevil gas treatment !
    It’s free, just send me 10k in a brown paper bag delivered by a brown shoed square in the middle of the night.
    Withing 12 days your car will gain the ability to fly and you get your money back by selling rides to the moon for 10k !

  • http://www.facebook.com/fpcharnock Forrest Charnock

    We should all order some and then donate a check for .001 cents! Maybe he will go broke sending out free samples.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/PFSJQVHXMPYIVGM27X4SDEG4JY John

    hi pastor i would like a no evil oil please and thamk you!!! 360 n zornes rd Endicott Wa 99125

  • joy berry

    i will eat some of your oil. thank you god bless you. i need less evil.

  • Anonymous

    please don’t1

  • Anonymous

    Will it work on any issues, or is there different vintages and formula? I need one for stupidity, and another for a turbo 2.0T engine, is is available in case lots? I have lots of issues. thanks, and g.o.d. doesn’t bless you, he is BUSY!

  • Brianne

    Excuse me? Are you for real? That statement is offensive and unfair, not to mention ironic and inappropriate.

  • Brianne

    You know… this is also ironic. Because you accused someone of judging something they know nothing about… and then went on to make an assumption based on no evidence whatsoever about a person’s beliefs and morals. In the next sentence. Ha. Lady you are out to lunch.

  • Anonymous

    Is it available at 7-11 or WaWa? Or a grocery store in the salad dressings isle?

  • Anonymous

    Pushing BS scams is even more offensive and vulgar. Quick, turn around, the BOOGIEMAN is coming