Dear Clay Aiken,
For fuck’s sake man, come out already. I know you don’t want to support your legions of middle aged female fans who feel dejected now that Doggie Howser came out of the closet. But there is a time in a man’s life when everyone knows the truth but him. Clay Aiken, you are gay. We’ve seen the webcam photos, and heard about your penchant for bareback sex. You can come out now or you can forget about it. You can forget about any gay people applauding you when you do come out. Don’t expect any sympathy from us when you write your tell-all book about how hard it was for you to stay in the closet. Personally, I wont be picking up any gay mags with you on the cover where in big yellow letters they scream “CLAY FINALLY COMES OUT”. If freekin Lance Bass can do it, so can you. This isn’t 1950, Clay, it’s 2008. If you lose fans when you come out it will be, not because you’re gay, but because you lied to them and led them on for all this time. It’s time to come out of the closet. The air is much better out here.
Not a claymate,