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Aug
10

like broomsticks for legs

A new facet of my psoraisis once again flares its ugly head. Psoriatic Arthritis. I hurts to move, to stand for long periods or even to bend over too quickly. I’ve never felt this old before. My legs hurt for no reason, as if to say “fuck you! we wanna hurt”.
its 3:30 in the morning as i write this. you’re probably up and about having drank your coffee or maybe even eaten lunch by now. I’m probably asleep. What little sleep I get lately. each morning a sense of fear to open the door and find a note typed to remind me of how i’ve fucked up recently. Each one could tell me to get out. I dont think DG knows how much it tears me up inside to think that i could be thrown out again. yeah i know, its because of failure to_____ or because you didnt ______ and maybe I deserve it, I dont know. I just cant help but wonder if it ever gets easier or does life just get progressivly worse until you die?
and dont tell me i should see someone, i cant afford that shit.

  • http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen Kathy

    oh, honey, i’m so sorry. call me, please!