Today is the day we, The United States, broke up with Britain. Then it got awkward, because he didn’t see it as a break up even though we totally said it was in the letter we sent him. He was telling all his friends we were still together and when we told them we were on our own now they acted all shocked and everything.
Then we started an affair with France and all that did was piss him off more.
Eventually after a HUGE fight, we both moved on. We got Movies, Hamburgers, Obesity and Religious intolerance. They got universal health care, the European Union and pretty much all of our friends.
Sometimes when we’re all alone in a unilateral military action, we cry a little bit because we know that we broke up with Britain, but sometimes we wish we still had him.
Happy 4th of July