Archive for the ‘What Were They Thinking?’ Category

Do What Now?

Saturday, November 26th, 2011

The Associated Press is reporting that two of three  people arrested in a Vermont meth lab bust have been sent to live with their fathers in Alabama while they await trial. I read the headline and thought, okay, it might make sense to send teenagers home rather than holding them for a long period of time.

Then I read the story. If Pokies these two are teenagers, it’s only of the overgrown variety. One is 30 and the other 33. Isn’t it a little late (not to mention cruel and unusual) to force their parents to supervise them? What are the dads supposed to do if they misbehave, ground them?

I bet Christmas will be a blast. Just hope it isn’t a literal one.

Upside Down World

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

In Wisconsin, citizens can now carry concealed weapons into the state Assembly’s public galleries. They cannot, however, carry cameras into said public space, and doing so got eighteen activists arrested on Tuesday.

The Wisconsin Senate’s policy is a bit different; it doesn’t allow concealed weapons in the public galleries, but it does allow them on the Senate floor. Not being familiar with the building, I don’t know how one would get a concealed weapon onto the Senate floor without going through the public gallery, but I suppose the rule may limit potential shooters to the Senators themselves.

It is good to know that both policies allow individual legislators to decide whether or not visitors (and, presumably, employees) can carry concealed weapons into their offices. I do have a question, though. How will they know? Metal detectors for each office? Patdowns for every visitor?

I predict these policies will remain in effect until the first disgruntled citizen pulls a piece on an offending legislator. Assuming anyone manages to catch it on camera.

What’s the Matter with Loudoun County?

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

UPDATE: Want to help unseat Eugene Delgaudio (see below for why)? Here’s the ActBlue link to donate to Al Nevarez, who’s running against him. Go Al! And many thanks to Liz of The True Adventures of the Doorbell Queen and Loudoun Progress for the heads up.


I suspect everyone on the interwebs has seen this horrible image of President Obama, sent out as part of a Halloween email from the Loudoun County (VA) Republican Committee as “a light-hearted attempt to inject satire humor into the Halloween holiday.”

Yeah, that’s just hilarious. I don’t know why I forgot to laugh. After the Virginia Republican Party and Republican Gov. Bob McDonnell condemned the use of the image, the Loudoun County Committee issued one of those patented non-apology apologies:

“The Loudoun County Republican Committee yesterday sent an email to its members that represented a light-hearted attempt to inject satire humor into the Halloween holiday,”said Mark Sell, chairman of the Loudoun County Republican Committee in a written statement obtained by multiple outlets.

“Apparently, some individuals have interpreted an image of Barack Obama that appeared within the email as intending to portray the president as a victim of a violent crime. Nothing could be further from the truth, and we deeply and sincerely apologize to the president and anyone who viewed the image if that was the impression that was left. The LCRC deplores any effort to display, suggest or promote violence against the president or any other political figure.”

Gee, I can’t imagine why anyone would interpret an image of the President with a bullet hole in his forehead and part of his skull torn away as “intending to portray the president as a victim of a violent crime”. And a response that might as well read, “Gee, we’re sorry you took it that way. Where’s your sense of humor?” is not an apology. An apology is where you admit you were wrong and express regret for the damage you caused.

But…that’s not all that’s wrong in Loudoun County. Eugene Delgaudio, Republican Supervisor for Sterling District, is running for re-election (I’m not going to link to his campaign site, so you can either trust me or google him). A few days before the Halloween debacle, he sent out a fundraising email for his anti-gay lobbying organization, Public Advocate (again, no link) that included this image:

Pam has the entire email posted at her place, and it’s a screed against “conservative traitors” who have allowed the infiltration of “radical homosexuals” into national Republican leadership. Oooh, scary! Actually, what’s really scary is the source material for this photoshopped image, noted by a commenter at Loudoun Progress and added to the original post:

And the Loudoun Times-Mirror just endorsed this homophobic ass for re-election. Geez, is there something in the water there?

Cobb County GA, throbbing nexus of conservatism

Sunday, April 24th, 2011

Just back from visiting the in-laws, and this is the latest from their part of the world. 16-year-old driver turning left on a green light, misjudged, his mama who was riding shotgun died.

They were going to his orthodontist appointment.

So if your heart is not already clenching in agony at this sad little story…the Cobb County Police Levitra Online charged the boy with negligent homicide.

Yep. That’s what they did. To the credit of Cobb residents, there has been pretty much an outpouring of outrage. (Although my brother-in-law said one anonymous commenter typed, “The law is the law.”)

Hug your babies, y’all. Even your big babies. Because you never know, tomorrow they might be charged with your murder.

Oh Good Grief!

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

I’m neither a Republican nor an Alabama fan, but this is just classless:

A plane is set to begin flying this hour over the site of tonight’s national championship college football game, pulling behind it a large streamer carrying these seven-foot tall words:
Impeach Corrupt Alabama Governor Bob Riley.

Riley is in Pasadena for the game between the University of Alabama and the University of Texas, as are tens of thousands of Bama fans.

Arnold Ariel Advertising, headquartered in New York, has organized this afternoon’s flyover. Zim Barstein said his company cannot reveal the name of the person or group paying for the flyover, but Barstein is confident the banner will be a focal point of attention over Pasadena.

“Nobody will be able to miss it, I promise you,” Barstein said. “It will circle over the area at a thousand feet for almost four hours, and if you’re in that town or caught in traffic or on your way to the Rose Bowl, you will see the banner. Seven-foot black letters at just a thousand feet get your attention.”

The advertising firm can’t reveal the name of “the person HGH or group paying for the flyover”, but I’d be willing to bet (ha!) the initials are Country Crossing, the Dothan-area “electronic bingo casino and entertainment complex” that closed down temporarily this week just as it headed off a raid by the Governor’s Task Force on Illegal Gambling.  UPDATE: Turns out Tuscaloosa developer Stan Pate is taking the, um, credit for the banner. (h/t Danny)

Whatever I may think of Riley, Alabama football, or electronic bingo machines, the Rose Bowl is an opportunity for the state to showcase the positive.  The anonymous crybabies who commissioned this display of pique should be ashamed of themselves.


All that said, the Governor’s office didn’t cover itself with glory with this over-the-top response:

Riley press secretary Todd Stacy said he did  not know who paid for the banner but assumed it was someone who does not like the governor’s stance on gambling. “Gambling thugs assassinated Albert Patterson in Phenix City 50 years ago, so we should not really be surprised by character assassination from this generation of casino bosses,” he said.

Geez.  Put down the pearls and get yourself some smelling salts.


Monday, January 4th, 2010

The FBI is investigating eight threatening letters containing white powder that were mailed to federal offices around Alabama.  Rep. Jo Bonner’s Mobile and Foley offices each received a letter.  Rep. Mike Rogers, Sen. Richard Shelby, and Sen. Jeff Sessions got letters in their Montgomery offices.  One letter went to the Federal courthouse in Anniston, and one or two letters (really? they don’t know which?) went to Federal offices in Birmingham.

None of the letters have [sic] tested positive for anthrax, [FBI media spokesperson Angela] Tobon said.

Dr. Don Williamson, Alabama state health officer, said that the public health laboratory had been notified that it would be receiving samples today from around the state. As for the sample from Birmingham on Sunday, he said “we know that it’s not anthrax. We know it’s not a biological agent and we know it’s not ricin.”

“At this point it does not appear to be a toxic substance … based on the one letter we got out of Birmingham,” Williamson said.

Good grief!  Don’t people have anything better to do?  The lack of toxic substances in the letters does not at all mitigate the assholity of the perpetrators.  I wish the FBI Godspeed as they pursue these jerks.

Today in Stupid Criminals

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

Okay, anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to get high on a substance made from Sudafed and (according to the Department of Justice website) some combination of ether, paint thinner, Freon®, acetone, anhydrous ammonia, iodine crystals, red phosphorus, drain cleaner, battery acid, and lithium (taken from inside batteries) — seriously, drain cleaner?  battery acid? — probably isn’t operating with a full stringer of fish.  Anyone who’d cook up a batch in a moving vehicle is missing more than just a couple of crappie.

But this guy takes the cake:  he passed out at a gas pump with meth cooking in the back seat of his car.  And stayed out, apparently, for an hour, until a station employee called the police.

MURFREESBORO, Tenn. – Police say a driver passed out in his car at a Tennessee gas station while a batch of methamphetamine was cooking in the back seat.

An employee at the gas station in Murfreesboro, about 30 miles southeast of Nashville, called police because the car was sitting at the pump for about an hour on New Year’s Day.

Police say a chemical process to make the drug was in progress. Some meth-making ingredients can be explosive.

Murfreesboro Assistant Fire Chief Allen Swader told The Daily News Journal that gas pumps were shut off as a precaution.

“Some meth-making ingredients can be explosive.”  Gee, ya think?  It’s good to know that “…gas pumps were shut off as a precaution.”  Also good to know that this moron is sitting in the pokey.  The world is a safer place, at least for now.

Fat, Fat, the Water Rat

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

Or whatever we used to say when we were kids. Mac’s post informing us that, while Mississippi is the very fattest state, Alabama is closing on them fast, reminded me that I got an email from “City of Mobile” this afternoon urging me to consider auditioning for NBC’s reality show, “The Biggest Loser.”  I reproduce most of it here for your edification:

Casting producers are looking for outgoing and charismatic family teams of two, especially those who have the personality, desire and competitive edge to vie for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to lose weight, change their lives forever and compete for a grand prize of $250,000. Individuals who don’t have a partner can audition on their own. Candidates must be at least 18 years of age and legal residents of the United States.

“This is an awesome opportunity to spotlight Mobile as well as give our citizens an opportunity to transition into a healthy lifestyle,” said Mayor Sam Jones. “Alabama has one of the highest obesity rates in the nation. We encourage as many people as possible to take advantage of the opportunities that this national show brings to Mobile.”

Candidates should bring a non-returnable photo of them and their partner.

Okay, so after I got over the mental picture of a bloated Bart Simpson proudly telling reporters, “I warsh mahself with a rag on a stick,” I thought seriously about  this.  I mean, yes Sam, we all want a healthier lifestyle. But should we really be falling all over ourselves to put our most corpulent, albeit charismatic,  citizens on national TV to spotlight Mobile??? Isn’t there at least a chance that some of the show will, um, put our city in a bad light? Okay, so maybe we aren’t the only place in the US that sells deep-fried  Snickers bars at the annual fair, but still. That article Mac linked to sure makes it sound like our fattest folks might just be the fattest folks anywhere. Except, of course, for… now y’all say it with me: “Thank God for Mississiippi!”

You Can’t Make This Sh*t Up

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

The co-executive director of the Miss California Organization has confirmed that the organization paid for Carrie Prejean’s breast implants just weeks before the Miss USA pageant.  Yes, that’s this Carrie Prejean.  Miss Prejean, who believes in “opposite marriage”, is all about following what she sees as God’s will in that regard.  So why would she flout God’s will for her body by getting breast implants?

And now the ungrateful child is ducking her funders…

Carrie is still involved in a media frenzy, sparked by her controversial response at the Miss USA pageant, and Shanna [Moakler] claims the young woman has been avoiding responding to her Miss California bosses. “We’ve tried really hard [to get in contact] and she keeps referring us to her mother and her PR person,” Shanna claimed.

…while apparently shilling for NOM (yeah, that NOM).  At least the producers of this ad were able to edit down her rambling response to something resembling a sound bite.  Maybe they should have hired an actress to play the part of the poor, oppressed beauty queen forced to choose between the crown and her convictions (conveniently ignoring the part where Miss North Carolina — the new Miss USA — also won the swimsuit and evening gown competitions).  We know how well that worked for them last time.

h/t Pam

The Jokes Just Write Themselves

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

In, um, honor of tomorrow’s mass teabagging:

via Paul the Spud at Shakesville