Birmingham Blues

At least Commissioners Jim Carns and Bobby Humphryes showed up last night for a meeting in Homewood that drew around 200 citizens to discuss the sewer debacle. The Birmingham News brief doesn’t say whether or not citizens were allowed to speak and ask questions last night, although this account implies that they were.

Carns and Humphryes are pushing bankruptcy as the only option, and they may very well be right. That doesn’t make it a good option.

It’s my understanding that these two won’t be attending today’s hearings. That’s troublesome, as are the other no-shows. While there are varying levels of blame to go around among the Commission members, they should be showing a united front to the citizens of the county in their willingness to work together for the best of the bad choices we’ll have to make to find our way out of this mess.

I’m not holding my breath.

The headline says it all:

“Most Jeffco commissioners will not attend sewer debt hearings”

Hey, it’s not their problem. Why should they show up?

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock — or aren’t from around here — you know that Jefferson County is facing imminent financial ruin because of a combination of bad decisions and bad luck surrounding sewer bonds. How much of each is a subject of some dispute, but I fall on the bad decisions side of the line.

A majority of the County Commission has bought into a recovery plan that will require a special session of the Legislature and a statewide vote for approval. Good luck with that.

Commission Chair Bettye Fine Collins and her supporters Shelia Smoot and George Bowman will hold a dog and pony show public hearing tomorrow morning, 10AM, at the Wright Center at Samford University. They will, apparently, be assisted by the PR firm that they haven’t yet hired. They’ll be pushing the Slaughter plan, thus named because it was designed in part by a local attorney who helped get us in this mess to begin with. The public will be allowed to ask questions, but only in written form, submitted in advance. Wow, thanks, Ms. Collins, for permitting the public to participate. /snark

Commissioner Smoot, at least recognizing the reality that most people can’t take off work to go to a weekday public hearing, has scheduled another one for 6 PM tomorrow night in Room 370 of the Jefferson County Courthouse.

Meanwhile, Commissioners Jim Carns and Bobby Humphryes, who are not happy with the Slaughter plan, have scheduled meetings of their own to inform the public of alternative approaches — at this point, taking the sewer system into bankrupcty and allowing the Retirement Systems of Alabama to buy it out or going with a plan promoted by Jim White that would require a bit more sacrifice from the attorneys, investment bankers, and Wall Street gurus who led the Commission down the garden path in the first place. (For basic details of each plan, and some childish snarking from Bill Slaughter aimed at David Bronner, click here.) Carns is holding a meeting TONIGHT at 6 PM at the Homewood Public Library, while Humphryes has tentatively scheduled one for Wednesday, August 13, 7PM, at the Bessemer Civic Center.

If you’re on the sewer system in Jefferson County, or if you pay property, sales, occupational taxes or business license fees — okay, that’s pretty much everyone — you owe it to yourself and your checkbook to be informed. Pick a meeting and go. Take notes. Ask questions — even if the Commissioners don’t want to answer them.

“Montgomery puts the all in gall, the city in audacity, the front in effrontery.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Remember last year when Birmingham City Councilor Joel Montgomery got so drunk that he fell on his face in a Southside parking lot? And then got abusive and sexually inappropriate with the police after he was arrested for public intoxication? And later got the charges dismissed in return for agreeing not to sue the city, despite reneging on his agreement to attend alcohol counseling?

You’d think he’d be grateful that he was able to weasel out of the whole debacle without a recall vote, but it seems he just can’t leave well enough alone. The Birmingham News reports this morning that Montgomery is suing the parking lot owner.

Montgomery’s suit said he was injured on April 7, 2007, when he fell three feet to the pavement while walking across a wall beside the parking lot.

The lawsuit, filed late Friday afternoon, contends the owners of the parking lot at 13th Avenue South and Richard Arrington Boulevard, failed to maintain it in a reasonably safe condition. The owner, J.H. Berry and Co., also should have warned people about the danger from the dropoff, the suit said.

I suppose it’s also the owner’s fault that Joel Montgomery got drunk that night. If there’s any justice in the world, his suit will be laughed out of court.

Not to mention a grandstanding wacko who thinks the answer to Birmingham’s problems is to incur new debt of $154 million. Yeah, I know municipalities sometimes must borrow for big capital expenditures, but with Larry’s record of debt management, the City Council would be crazy to go along with him.

As for the litterbug part, watch closely at the beginning of the video. This is just more Larry hypocrisy, exhorting neighborhoods to clean up after themselves (as they should) while he tosses his cigarette butts in the gutter. Sort of like his sackcloth and Rolex ensemble. Way to lead by example, Larry.

I heard through the grapevine that one of those poor officers made the mistake of locking his knees during the mayor’s presentation of his super-duper top-secret plan. Those of us who remember marching band days know what happens when you lock your knees. He apparently passed out and hit the floor, gun and all.

Or perhaps he was simply overcome by Larry’s awesomeness. Yeah, that must have been it.

I checked Breaking News at al.com this afternoon and saw the shocking and incredibly newsworthy report that Starbucks will be closing the store just down the street from us, as well as several others in the Birmingham area. 15YOD will be sad, but the people who own the local coffee and sandwich place across the way are likely thrilled.

Anyway. The typical breaking news item on al.com might garner one or two comments at most — unless it’s about Larry Langford, and then there will be one after another, some expressing rational concerns, some vehemently defending the mayor from the evil forces raging against him, and some just flat out racist. The Starbucks story is up to 39 comments at current count (leaving off two duplicates). Most of them are of the “Starbucks coffee is TEH SUCK” variety, and I’m right with them there. Can’t drink the stuff, although I love the chai lattes. However, I’ve always been impressed by the friendly, polite staff and quick service, so I don’t feel the need to express any hatred toward the company.

Not so greywool, who left this uplifting message:

I prefer a good cup of Maxwell House or Red Diamond brewed fresh at home and away from all the hippies.

Community coffee chickory blend is the best IMHO.

But until you’ve had a good pot of coffee cooked over an open fire, you haven’t really had a cup of coffee.

Starbucks didn’t serve coffee. They served drinks with drops or two of coffee in them. Mostly made up of sugary, milky, creamy, goo.

Glad they and their Hippie, Seattle based bunch are leaving.

Hopefully the west coast will soon be swallowed into the pacific and that beachfront property in Arizona will become reality.

Ah, al.com — the place to go to read manly men wishing death and destruction for those not like them. I think I’ll skip the coffee and have a drink instead.

As part of an effort to maintain a three-month operating reserve in the 2009 budget, the Birmingham City Council decided yesterday to give back $9 million in hush money discretionary funds allotted by the mayor .

The Birmingham City Council decided Sunday to make deep cuts in the city’s budget, including money that would give laptops to middle schoolers and $9 million in discretionary funding given to council members by the mayor.

They also agreed to hold spending for most boards and agencies at 2008 levels.

As a result, the city would retain three months of operating expenses, an estimated $105 million, in its reserve fund in the 2009 fiscal year. Council members also pledged to write up a policy that would require such savings in the future.

In last week’s “War on Dumb”, Kyle detailed the big hole in the mayor’s proposal:

Earlier this year, the Finance Department gave the council an analysis of its fund balance. That analysis said that it is the city’s stated policy to “maintain a reserve (fund balance) in the General Operating Fund equal to 15 percent of General Fund expenditures or 3 months of operating expenditures — whichever is higher.”

…Langford’s proposed operating budget is $428 million, a $100 million increase over last year. When you do the math, that means that the city should keep $107 million in its reserve fund. But Mayor Langford’s budget wasn’t going to do that.

The new taxes raised by Langford and the council has brought in almost $31 million that wasn’t spent this past year. These funds were supposed to go for new initiatives, including transit improvements, police and fire protection and scholarships. However, since the city did not spend the money in time, those funds rolled over into the 2008 fund balance, bringing the reserve fund to $119.4 million. That’s $12 million more than the $107 million the city needed to satisfy its policy, and the city should be free to appropriate that money as it sees fit.

However, $12 million wasn’t enough to fill the hole in Langford’s budget, so his staff dipped deeper into the reserve, $24 million deep. [emphasis mine]

Stunning, I know. Actually not, given Larry’s propensity to spend money he doesn’t have. I don’t know why the Council members chose to give back their slush funds, but I’d like to think they (finally) realized that money was nothing but a club to hold over their heads so Larry could get his way. Now perhaps we’ll see real, ongoing oversight and fiscal responsibility.

I can dream, can’t I?

Gaynell Hendricks won the Democratic nomination for Jefferson County tax assessor yesterday with 60% of the 14% turnout. Some here will remember that this is the same Gaynell Hendricks who did everything she could to overturn Patricia Todd’s election and get herself crowned the nominee in Alabama House District 54. Quoth Ms. Hendricks:

“This is a victory for the citizens of Jefferson County,” Hendricks said from her campaign headquarters on 4th Avenue North. “It goes to show that with hard work, honesty, sincerity, and, most of all, God on your side, we can accomplish great things.”

You’d think if God had really been on her side, God would have made sure she got that House seat she wanted so badly. Oh, and note to Gaynell — invoking God, presumably the Christian God, when the incumbent you defeated happens to be Jewish? Really tacky.

I’m going to go puke now.

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ETA:  al.com is now reporting that voter turnout might have reached a stunning 15%.  Of course, this may not be an accurate reflection of the Democratic turnout in Jefferson County, but it’s the best numbers I can find so far.

This one definitely falls in the “What Were They Thinking?” category. Last night, the Vestavia Hills City Council voted to give away a 13-acre tract of land valued at $2 million for $10. Yep, that’s TEN DOLLARS. The land will be “purchased” by Life Time Fitness, which proposes to build a $25 million fitness center that will anchor a mixed-use development at Patchwork Farms off Cahaba River Road. The Council estimates the facility will generate nearly $450,000 a year in revenue for the city.

I wonder if any of the city councilors read this article before the vote:

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