It’s déjà vu all over again! Local and state officials in Auburn are hyperventilating about Kalli’s Love Stuff and its sales of, um, marital aids. Didn’t we already cover this back in 2007? Yes, I know that was the Hoover store, and it was couched as a zoning issue, and the Supreme Court recently failed to overturn the state’s ban on the sale of sex toys, but the point remains the same:
Hoover has been fighting the zoning battle since 2005; perhaps it’s time to give it a rest as well. It sounds like the store goes out of the way to avoid exposing The Childrentm to adult merchandise.
Testimony in the case showed that in December 2006, the Love Stuff store had 36 percent of its inventory in an area of the store set aside for adult-oriented items, and that area was restricted to adults. The rest of the store is open to customers of any age.
I suspect most of the opposition comes from parents who fear that just seeing the store’s sign will corrupt their kids and, God forbid, lead to uncomfortable questions. Please, people — it’s called Love Stuff, not Dildos ‘R’ Us. Just tell the kiddies it’s where the storks hang out between baby deliveries.
State Sen. Ted Little (D-27th District) initiated the current inquiry, stating, “I do not expect this to take place in my district nor anywhere in the state of Alabama…I am in favor of a thorough investigation to find out if sales are taking place of those type of products.” Really, Ted? Do you favor your constituents leaving the state to make these purchases? Seems like we could use the tax revenue right here.
Of course, the local reporters found a Concerned Mothertm to express her concern for The Childrentm:
“I’m thinking about the fact that my daughter, who just turned 16, went out shopping last week by herself for the first time and I don’t want her accidentally stumbling into a store like this,” [Patricia Stevenson] said. “This business is something I’d say is very negative for our area.”
Lady, get real. Your daughter can “stumble” into Victoria’s Secret or Spencer Gifts or any number of internet sites any day of the week and see things at least as risqué as the merchandise Love Stuff stocks in its front room. This isn’t a strip club, or even a bar for that matter. She’s going to find out about sex eventually, and she may even discover that some people *gasp* enjoy it.
As I’m sure I’ve mentioned at least a few dozen times, I can’t imagine how much time and money the state of Alabama has wasted defending a stupid law that never should have been passed in the first place.