Darn it, now I can never stop taking them…
or my marriage will crumble. See, it’s like this. According to this fascinating article brought to my attention by your tireless blogmistress Kathy, people’s “major histocompatibility complex” (MHC) genes - they help direct immune response and other important stuff - give them a certain, for lack of a better word, odor. Evolutionarily speaking, it’s better for the species if we mix up the MHC genes, because then our babies will have more immuno-power. So, ordinarily women are attracted to fellas with a different MHC aroma than their own.
However, when you’re on The Pill, apparently your sniffability completely falls apart, and you’re just as likely—heck, even more likely—to fall for a guy with the same stupid MHC set you’ve already got. These, um, researchers speculate it’s because the pill mimics pregnancy, so if your body thinks it’s got a bun in the oven, there’s no need to sniff out a desirable mate. Here’s the bad news:
Past studies have suggested couples with dissimilar MHC genes are more satisfied and more likely to be faithful to a mate. And the opposite is also true with matchng-MHC couples showing less satisfaction and more wandering eyes.
“Not only could MHC-similarity in couples lead to fertility problems,” said lead researcher Stewart Craig Roberts, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Newcastle in England, “but it could ultimately lead to the breakdown of relationships when women stop using the contraceptive pill, as odor perception plays a significant role in maintaining attraction to partners.”
So, because I was a responsible young lady guarding my “reproductive health” on the dating scene, not only did I probably marry the wrong dude, but our kids might have crappy immune systems, to boot. And my only hope to continue in relative marital bliss is to keep swallowing the things until menopause, at which point (the study didn’t address this, but then who wants to run a study on a bunch of old, saggy broads) perhaps my useless uterus will STFU and the whole MHC preference thing will go away.
I suppose this is just going to give more ammo to those groups who are already fighting the evil abortifacient oral contraceptives. Although, by the time they get finished explaining the whole complicated mess, they might lose their audience. Maybe they could just focus on getting rid of Axe Vice. You know that sh*t’s gotta be masking some heavy MHC stank.
August 13th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
You know that sh*t’s gotta be masking some heavy MHC stank.
LOL! Yeah, masking it with a much worse stank. And that video ranks right up there with the dumbest, most offensive things I’ve seen on the intertubes. Do the Axe people really think it will sell product? I know I’m not their target demographic, but really, who would fall for that? If my 15YOD and her friends are reliable representatives of their age group, I’d say a boy wearing Axe is more likely to inspire laughter than passion.
August 13th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
And my only hope to continue in relative marital bliss is to keep swallowing the things until menopause, at which point (the study didn’t address this, but then who wants to run a study on a bunch of old, saggy broads) perhaps my useless uterus will STFU and the whole MHC preference thing will go away.
We’d better hope that’s the case. After all, once a woman reaches menopause she’s by definition too unattractive to find a new husband, so she’ll be forced to settle for the old, incompatible one at home.
/snark
August 13th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Permanent sinusitis is the only sure solution.
August 14th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I’m so old, ugly, and for all practical (or impractical) purposes impotent that I needn’t worry about how I stink.
August 14th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Don, just don’t let anyone talk you into trying Axe body spray. It’s nasty!
August 14th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
AXE! Makes me think of the AXE wars my son and his friends used to have….at church lock ins. Thank goodness he grew out of that phase.
August 14th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
AXE! Makes me think of the AXE wars my son and his friends used to have….at church lock ins. Thank goodness he grew out of that phase.
Did the church have to get the EPA to help with the cleanup?
August 14th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I am sure the leaders thought they would never get the smell out. I probably should have suggested the EPA!