No doubt most Blues readers are acquainted with Arlen Specter. The senior U.S. Senator from the State of Pennsylvania is perhaps best known for his tenure as Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee during the first six years of the Bush administration. Perhaps no Judiciary Committee Chairperson was ever more judicious in finding reasons to avoid causing problems for those perpetrating violations of the Constitution.
Senator Specter, as Chair of the Judiciary Committee showed tremendous courage in protecting the citizenry from conflict over minor matters like the Constitution. Thus he bravely proposed amnesty for Bush administration accomplices in illegal wiretapping. He heroically prevented the Democrats from making the great Alberto Gonzales testify under oath about the illegal wiretapping thus saving millions of Americans worry about an obvious criminal being the chief law enforcement official in their country. And who can forget Specter’s bold charge in leading the efforts to shut up the hateful Democrats’ efforts to undermine the legendary Gonzales’ nomination over silly issues like approving torture and stating the opinion that the Geneva Convention does not apply to the administration’s War on TerrorTM.
This is a man who has consistently shown the courage to save the populace from needless worry over the trivial.
But now this great man has had enough. It seems the evil New England Patriots, who just so happened to defeat the Senator’s home state Pittsburgh Steelers and Philadelphia Eagles in their three Super Bowl winning seasons, committed an unsavory act in taping the signals of the New York Jets during the 2007 season. Showing the righteous indignation of a man who has his priorities straight, our brave Senator demands hearings on this heinous crime. We know it must be heinous because a man of courage who would put the Constitutional issues aside to protect us simple citizens from unnecessary strife would not otherwise subject us to such deep and abiding concerns. Could the Super Bowl itself have been tainted? God forbid. For the sake of all that is holy, find out the truth, Senator Specter.
He showed the courage of a lion in facing the wrath of the National Football League. He heroically ensured the success of the nomination of the greatest Attorney General in American history in spite of the homicidal insanity of the Democratic minority. He displayed the judgment of Solomon in deciding priorities (tainted Super Bowl victories, for God’s sake, instead of some Harvard egghead debating society Constitutional drivel).
For all of these reasons, Birmingham Blues is proud to name Senator Arlen Specter, Republican of Pennsylvania, as the inaugural recipient of our Congressional Heroism Award. We know the citizens of Pennsylvania are so proud of this recognition of one of their own. And know that a grateful nation salutes your wisdom and courage. You are a hero to us all, sir.
As my drunken Irish grandfather would have said, Jaysus, Mary and Joseph. First the baseball steroids, and now this. Can’t our nation’s lawmakers concern themselves with something that doesn’t involve grown men running around a field chasing a ball?
Distraction! Anything to keep the masses from figuring out their real game.
If Spector wants to impress me he should haul Karl Rove before the Senate Judicary Committee and waterboard him until he tells the truth.
Excellent thought bhmhomeboy!
I personally would like to waterboard Winston Groom, who had a big piece in the Mobile mullet-wrapper a few weeks back saying how none of the Gitmo stuff sounded worse than his fraternity hazing ritual. Then, of course, the story came out about the Tulane pledge who had boiling water & crab boil poured on his private parts, poor kid, and I had to wonder if Winston was telling no more than the simple truth
Sorry, here’s the link:
Mr. Groom Speaks Out
Holy God! What a nut job.
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