Naked + Jogging + Priest…Does Not Compute!

A Catholic priest in Colorado pleaded not guilty Tuesday to charges of indecent exposure for jogging while naked, and when I first read that I thought he had to be batshit crazy to go out unclothed in December. Turns out it was June, silly. I guess the justice system has been clogged with actual serious crime since then.

The Rev. Robert Whipkey was arrested June 22 in Frederick, about 25 miles north of Denver, after an officer saw him walking on a street naked at 4:35 a.m. Whipkey told police he jogged naked because he sweats profusely if he wears clothing, according an arrest report.

I don’t know about y’all, but I’ll take profuse sweat over flapping, uh, parts.  Any day.  Every day.

16 Responses to “Naked + Jogging + Priest…Does Not Compute!”

  1. Renee says:

    Whipkey? I know what else was whipping!

  2. Naked jogging priest?!?

    Do not want!

  3. Aw C’mon, folks! He wore what God gave him! And at 4-plus in the morning, who would he be offending??

    I don’t see what the flap is all about, even if it was flapping all about!

  4. Kathy says:

    Well, as I pointed out in the post, it did take the justice system a while to deal with him, so the DA likely doesn’t think it’s too serious. The article didn’t say why he’s chosen to fight the charges rather than plea-bargain. He was caught red-…somethinged.

  5. Crissa says:

    I wonder how long he got away with it?

    Anyhow, he should just move to a community where that isn’t illegal. Not that I want to see his flapping parts, but it’s a bit silly to worry over. Why should it be illegal?

  6. Kathy says:

    “The archdiocese said Whipkey was investigated for “inappropriate personal behavior” more than eight years ago when he was a pastor in Sterling. The archdiocese said that incident did not involve “physical or sexual contact with another individual,” but it gave no other details.”

    There’s no way to tell for sure, but I bet he was doing the same thing eight years ago. That might be why he’s going to trial; if he’s a repeat “offender”, his sentence might be — and I hesitate to say it — stiffer.

  7. anna says:

    Stiffer! OMG! You’re too funny. I’m with ya on the NO FLAPPING rule. That’s just effed up. Sicko.

  8. Kiki says:

    I remmeber this story when it came out–he was apparently doing most of his jogging at a local track–if he had put clothes on when he was leaving , he probably could have gone on like that for years–who is at the local track at 3 or 4 in the morning–probably some kids who shouldn’t be there anyway! However, I agree-pretty gross-you need some support Father! Our priest has told my husband he has a “sweating problem” also. Hmm….weird. Seen him jogging also, but never naked. Is there a Nudist Colony just for priests somewhere?

  9. Kathy says:

    Hmmm. I have a “sweating problem” when I exercise too. The idea of it freely pouring down my body with no clothes to absorb it is just ick. Think of the chafing. Or don’t, if you’d prefer. :)

  10. Hieronymus Braintree says:

    I remember streaking when it was a huge fad.

    Those Catholics are always so late to the party.

  11. Kathy says:

    “I remember streaking when it was a huge fad.”

    Me too, Hieronymus. Maybe this guy is hoping it will make a comeback, like so many other 70′s fashions.

  12. Thursday says:

    My word.

    I do hope he was actually jogging, and not making an excuse for why he was naked and… er…

    You know, I’m just not even going to finish that sentence.

  13. steve davis says:

    He wasn’t naked. The religious term is “skyclad.” This is what happens when religion isn’t ecumenical enough. If this guy had just attended more Wicca ceremonies, he would have had a better excuse, with better terminology!

  14. Kathy says:

    Skyclad. Yep. No problem there. It’s the jogging skyclad that I can’t figure.

    “You know, I’m just not even going to finish that sentence.”

    Thursday, I don’t blame you. This reminds me of an old Lewis Grizzard routine: “Naked is when you aren’t wearing any clothes. Nekkid is when you aren’t wearing any clothes, and you’re up to something.”

  15. Keith says:

    Oy, couldn’t he have just sneaked a treadmill somewhere into the church’s yearly budget?

  16. Kathy says:

    Really — it’s not like they’re that expensive. :)

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