Comments on: Equality Begins at Home http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/ Suburban Mom-Employed-Outside-the-Home Gone Bad Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:57:27 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Birmingham Blues » Blog Archive » Yes!!! http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-234049 Birmingham Blues » Blog Archive » Yes!!! Thu, 15 May 2008 20:10:44 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-234049 [...] ban on gay marriage. I’m grinning so much I can barely type! This is a huge win, and I know my brother is smiling [...] [...] ban on gay marriage. I’m grinning so much I can barely type! This is a huge win, and I know my brother is smiling [...]

]]> By: Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Equality Begins at Home, TS Human Rights, Taxes « Deb’s House Concerts ………… http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-179734 Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Equality Begins at Home, TS Human Rights, Taxes « Deb’s House Concerts ………… Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:22:18 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-179734 [...] Equality Begins at Home [...] [...] Equality Begins at Home [...]

]]> By: Kathy http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-179416 Kathy Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:47:00 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-179416 BAC, thank you for your kind words. I would be glad for you and anyone else who would like to do so to repost or excerpt this piece with a link back here. I realize I wrote it as a continuation of my previous posts about Ken, so some added context may help. I hope sharing this story will at least make some readers re-evaluate their position. BAC, thank you for your kind words. I would be glad for you and anyone else who would like to do so to repost or excerpt this piece with a link back here. I realize I wrote it as a continuation of my previous posts about Ken, so some added context may help. I hope sharing this story will at least make some readers re-evaluate their position.

]]> By: BAC http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-179327 BAC Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:50:07 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-179327 Kathy, there are no words to express the sadness that surrounds this kind of loss. In reading your post I was touched by the depth of your understanding for what Tony is going through, too. I came out more than 30 years ago, and have witnessed far too many loving couples separated during a time when they needed each other the most, because of family members who refuse to accept that they are a couple. You have beautifully explained the very reason why marriage equality is such an important issue for people who are lesbian or gay. All the decisions you made on behalf of your brother are decisions a legally recognized spouse can make -- decisions that Tony should have had a legal right to make. We need to keep sharing these stories until everyone recognizes the fundamental unfairness of denying loving, same sex couples the legal right to marry. Dr. King once said: “…the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.” With your permission I would like to repost your message at Yikes. And I would encourage others to do the same. I’ll be making a contribution in Ken’s name. You, Tony, and the rest of your family are in my thoughts. BAC Kathy, there are no words to express the sadness that surrounds this kind of loss. In reading your post I was touched by the depth of your understanding for what Tony is going through, too. I came out more than 30 years ago, and have witnessed far too many loving couples separated during a time when they needed each other the most, because of family members who refuse to accept that they are a couple.

You have beautifully explained the very reason why marriage equality is such an important issue for people who are lesbian or gay. All the decisions you made on behalf of your brother are decisions a legally recognized spouse can make — decisions that Tony should have had a legal right to make.

We need to keep sharing these stories until everyone recognizes the fundamental unfairness of denying loving, same sex couples the legal right to marry. Dr. King once said: “…the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.”

With your permission I would like to repost your message at Yikes. And I would encourage others to do the same. I’ll be making a contribution in Ken’s name.

You, Tony, and the rest of your family are in my thoughts.

BAC

]]> By: Kathy http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-179248 Kathy Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:07:10 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-179248 Thank you, Tom. Cheryl spoke at Ken's funeral. I'm glad to see that the <i>Advertiser</i> published her letter. I hope his life and work will inspire others to step forward -- just the way your parents' fine example has done. Thanks also to ML and Cindi. Tony, we love you! Thank you, Tom. Cheryl spoke at Ken’s funeral. I’m glad to see that the Advertiser published her letter. I hope his life and work will inspire others to step forward — just the way your parents’ fine example has done.

Thanks also to ML and Cindi. Tony, we love you!

]]> By: Tom Hilton http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-179227 Tom Hilton Wed, 21 Nov 2007 00:31:32 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-179227 Kathy, I don't know if you saw this <a href="http://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071120/OPINION02/711190332/1006" rel="nofollow">letter to the editor</a> (from the Montgomery Advertiser):<blockquote>Montgomery lost a great leader with the passing of Ken Baker on Nov. 11. This was a tragic and unexpected loss, not only for Ken's family and loving partner, but for everyone who is in any way involved in the movement for equality, peace and social justice. Under Ken's leadership, Equality Alabama grew and moved its headquarters to a beautifully renovated house that was warm and welcoming, just as he was. His was a life of service and outreach. Ken recognized the importance of coalition building, and he was an ally and friend to so many of us. He was a courageous activist who did not hesitate to speak out. The void he has left is immense and cannot be filled. But we can honor him and what he meant to us by coming together and working even harder to achieve that just society he envisioned. I will remember Ken's smile and his quiet demeanor and his willingness to always support a just cause. I will remember his efforts to educate and to bring this community together with potluck suppers and movie nights. I will remember how, in this culture of hate in which we are now living, I never heard him speak with hatred about anyone. And I will remember him standing at various protests and rallies, quietly holding a large American flag -- a gentle reminder to all what patriotism really means and what that flag is supposed to represent: justice for all. Cheryl T. Sabel President Alabama Chapter National Organization For Women Montgomery</blockquote>As Steve said, it was certainly some comfort to us to think about how much good our mother did, and what an inspiration she was to others. As painful as this is for you (and I have some idea of that), I hope you and yours can take some comfort in Ken's amazing legacy. Kathy, I don’t know if you saw this letter to the editor (from the Montgomery Advertiser):
Montgomery lost a great leader with the passing of Ken Baker on Nov. 11. This was a tragic and unexpected loss, not only for Ken’s family and loving partner, but for everyone who is in any way involved in the movement for equality, peace and social justice.

Under Ken’s leadership, Equality Alabama grew and moved its headquarters to a beautifully renovated house that was warm and welcoming, just as he was. His was a life of service and outreach.

Ken recognized the importance of coalition building, and he was an ally and friend to so many of us. He was a courageous activist who did not hesitate to speak out.

The void he has left is immense and cannot be filled. But we can honor him and what he meant to us by coming together and working even harder to achieve that just society he envisioned.

I will remember Ken’s smile and his quiet demeanor and his willingness to always support a just cause. I will remember his efforts to educate and to bring this community together with potluck suppers and movie nights.

I will remember how, in this culture of hate in which we are now living, I never heard him speak with hatred about anyone. And I will remember him standing at various protests and rallies, quietly holding a large American flag — a gentle reminder to all what patriotism really means and what that flag is supposed to represent: justice for all.
Cheryl T. Sabel
President
Alabama Chapter
National Organization
For Women
Montgomery

As Steve said, it was certainly some comfort to us to think about how much good our mother did, and what an inspiration she was to others. As painful as this is for you (and I have some idea of that), I hope you and yours can take some comfort in Ken’s amazing legacy.

]]> By: Cindi http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-178988 Cindi Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:50:35 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-178988 Kathy, Thank Goddess you and your family were so loving toward Tony. I can honestly say, as I'm sure you've seen, it's not always that way. I long for the day when I can introduce Patti as "my wife" and have it be for real! I ache for our gay/lesbian brothers and sisters who struggle every day to find the words to make our relationships more palatable to those around us. Thank you for a most heart-felt and touching writing on how things have been for you all. You, Tony and the rest of the family are in our hearts and prayers. Kathy,
Thank Goddess you and your family were so loving toward Tony. I can honestly say, as I’m sure you’ve seen, it’s not always that way. I long for the day when I can introduce Patti as “my wife” and have it be for real! I ache for our gay/lesbian brothers and sisters who struggle every day to find the words to make our relationships more palatable to those around us.

Thank you for a most heart-felt and touching writing on how things have been for you all. You, Tony and the rest of the family are in our hearts and prayers.

]]> By: Moderate Libby http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-178984 Moderate Libby Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:13:43 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-178984 Tony, how wonderful that you were able to experience this complete love. Many travel their entire journey not understanding this special gift. I pray for the day when the joyful memories will ease your sadness. Your Ken sounds as though he was a passionate, courageous man. Tony, how wonderful that you were able to experience this complete love. Many travel their entire journey not understanding this special gift. I pray for the day when the joyful memories will ease your sadness. Your Ken sounds as though he was a passionate, courageous man.

]]> By: Your brother in law http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-178952 Your brother in law Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:15:49 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-178952 Kathy is right, Ken has left us with a challenge. And we must see it through. We do not want "special rights", we want the same rights. I have loving and exceptional "in-laws", who I love so much and they truely love me. But not everyone is as blessed as I, so that is why continuing the work of Ken and others is so important. I will leave you with a quote Ken made several years ago on the Alabama Judicial building steps during a press conference and rally. I have had this posted above my desk at work since he said it. "I look forward to the day that we will think of everyone as human beings, and treat each other that way. I hope I live to see the day." - Ken Baker I love him and miss him deeply. He completed me. Tony Kathy is right, Ken has left us with a challenge. And we must see it through. We do not want “special rights”, we want the same rights. I have loving and exceptional “in-laws”, who I love so much and they truely love me. But not everyone is as blessed as I, so that is why continuing the work of Ken and others is so important. I will leave you with a quote Ken made several years ago on the Alabama Judicial building steps during a press conference and rally. I have had this posted above my desk at work since he said it.
“I look forward to the day that we will think of everyone as human beings, and treat each other that way. I hope I live to see the day.” – Ken Baker

I love him and miss him deeply. He completed me.
Tony

]]> By: Kathy http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-178950 Kathy Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:13:52 +0000 http://www.queervoice.net/kmcmullen/2007/11/19/equality-begins-at-home/#comment-178950 Thanks again, everyone. Bhamhomeboy, going through this experience really opened my eyes, and I thought I was pretty enlightened already. Nothing like real life to make me see how much I don't know. Anna, thanks for the hug. It has been a tough year. ML, don't apologize for venting -- that's just what I was doing. Thanks again, everyone. Bhamhomeboy, going through this experience really opened my eyes, and I thought I was pretty enlightened already. Nothing like real life to make me see how much I don’t know. Anna, thanks for the hug. It has been a tough year. ML, don’t apologize for venting — that’s just what I was doing.

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