I’m almost laughing too hard to post this story*. Almost.
Southwestern Baptist, one of the nation’s largest Southern Baptist seminaries, is introducing a new academic program in homemaking as part of an effort to establish what its president calls biblical family and gender roles.
It will offer a bachelor of arts in humanities degree with a 23-hour concentration in homemaking. The program is only open to women.
Only open to women. Well, of course. No manly Baptist man would be interested in learning how to cook or sew or raise children. And no good submissive Baptist woman would heed the call from God to the ministry when she could be popping out babies and decorating the house instead.
We all know that some guy who was writing in the style of the apostle Paul composed a missive in which he said, “And I (not God or Jesus or likely even Paul, mind you, just ‘I’, the author of the letter) do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man,” so if she thinks she heard that call, she must be mistaken.
Coursework will include seven hours of nutrition and meal preparation, seven hours of textile design and “clothing construction,” three hours of general homemaking, three hours on “the value of a child,” and three hours on the “biblical model for the home and family.”
Seminary officials say the main focus of the courses is on hospitality in the home, teaching women interior design as well as how to sew and cook. Women also study children’s spiritual, physical and emotional development.
Yeah, I realize that the Bible was written during a time where women were nothing more than the property of their fathers, husbands, or sons, but I forget the passages where Jesus treated them that way. Clearly I missed the section of the Beatitudes where he said, “Women? Not so blessed. They shall cook, clean, sew, decorate, raise the children, and do whatever their husbands tell them to do. And if they think they hear a call to ministry, that’s just Dad kidding around.”
I wasn’t surprised to hear that the, um, creative force behind the homemaker degree is Paige Patterson, former head of the Southern Baptist Convention and current president of Southwestern Baptist. He was a big part of the SBC’s purge of moderates during the 1980’s, and he oversaw changes in the Baptist Faith and Message decreeing that women aren’t allowed to be pastors and that wives should “graciously submit” to their husbands.
When Patterson went to Southwestern Baptist in 2003, he made it clear that women weren’t welcome on the faculty. He and the school are now facing a federal discrimination suit because Professor Sheri Klouda, the only woman on the theology school’s faculty, was fired last spring. According to the suit, she was told that her contract was terminated because she was “a mistake that the trustees needed to fix”.
Oddly enough, Patterson’s wife Dorothy is now the only woman on the faculty. I guess she’s going to teach cooking, sewing, and submission. For women only, of course.
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* The online link from al.com is incomplete, so I’m working from the print story in the Birmingham News. Yeah, I know, actually reading a newspaper? It’s crazy. 
UPDATE: Here’s a link to the complete story.
How much will we be spending on your tuition?
Not a penny. I got a call from Patterson; he’s going to give me a full scholarship. He figures if he can save me from my evil feminist ways, there’s hope that he can indoctrinate, um, that is, enlighten any woman.
No special courses in CDD?
I did wonder about that, Del. Can’t see Patterson advocating crotchless pantaloons, but I can imagine him smacking the little woman if she talks back.
Lord, Lord.
It does boggle the mind.
This kind of garbage, along with the fact that my sweetheart of a gay brother isn’t welcome in any Southern Baptist church, is one of the many, many, many reasons I left the SB denomination almost 30 years ago. When I stepped foot in an SB church on a visit to my mother in Texas about 15 years ago—just to wait for her to finish with choir practice—I felt nauseated and suffocated. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. It was if quicksand were trying to suck me under. The SB denomination is why I’ve been a damn liberal Yankee from New York for more than 20 years.
Katharine, I wonder if people like Paige Patterson know — or care — how many souls they’ve driven away from the church that is supposed to be a place of refuge.
But I think you all are missing the point here. Don’t you see what a magnet this will be for lesbians? All woman program? Hello, sign me up!
Hmmm. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Could be a good place for wife-hunting.
What better way than to brainwash good christian women into being submissive?
Kathy, speaking of “popping out babies” click on or type the URL below:
http://www.therandolphleader.com/articles/2007/08/10/news/breaking_news/waitress%20delivers.txt
Yep, Cindi, give it the imprimatur of college credit, and it sounds so much more respectable.
Don, that’s amazing! Glad it didn’t happen to me.
Keep them all in their little boxes. You know———-the Stepford Wives. Again, all in the name of Jesus.
It is obvious why the current administration embraces these fools—–control—–control——control—–control—–control——control—–control
I am appalled at you people. Of course I submit to my husband; it’s my duty. It clearly states in the Bible that the woman shall submit and bear children. I take great pride in keeping a nice home and cooking every night for my family. This is the plan God has for me. You should all examine your priorities and pray for guidance from the Lord.
Ooops, sorry I couldn’t finish that. The doctor just came into the room and I had to sweet-talk my way out of the straitjacket.
Uh, Jennifer…..might I quote the title of a post from another blog I read recently (”My Husband is a Putz”)?
Jennifer, nice to see your husband allows you to use the computer.
Now run along and fetch his pipe and slippers. (And please videotape it — I’d pay good money to see that.)
Yes, I’m kidding.
Bill, my husband IS a putz!! But he puts up with me and I put up with him, so it all works out. Unfortunately for him, I did not take the homemaker course and we live in squalor. And Kathy, I’ll fetch his pipe….and ram it up his left nostril!!!! That would also make good video!
Lawdy, Lawdy. please protect me if the Jennifer in this inner sanctum of Kathy’s is the notorious Jennifer of the Daily Diatribes blog because I have posted a few irreverent comments on that blog — and she may now search and find me and stick some of my comments in a place where it’s too dark to read them.
I will protect you, Don.
Well, I may start quoting the SBC at a certain neighbor of mine who works-outside-the-home if she comes in ONE MORE TIME and says, “Gee, your house is nice and clean. Of course, YOU’RE home all day long.”
Sorry. That was uncalled for. I will now go back to submissive kitchen counter wiping. I’m sorry, Joanna, but I just don’t have time to join a women’s group. There’s so much to do around the house. You know how it is. Would you like a cup of coffee?
You better watch your nuts Don; there are squirrels in hell.
Get thee behind me Satan. I sorta’ like to fantasize about Jennifer and my nuts.